User Profile

I am a semi-intelligent humanoid caucasian of the XX chromosomal set. I am proficient in the art of babble-gonkery, hooplah, nannendorfery, and am well-known for my excellent skills in confoundery.

Mascots make me unreasonably angry (they have freakishly big heads) and Dr. Phil makes me vomit in my mouth a little. I'm a pro-choice, pro-equality, anti-ignorance, health-conscious, environmentalist leftist but i've somehow managed to remain a complete cynic amidst all of it. I'm not sure how; it might be a talent. My sarcasm gland is too big for my body.

Unlike most existentialists, I secretly adore my family. My sister is OCD-awesome and makes me laugh more than she knows. My parents are lovably flawed. My close circle of friends are a retarded kind of perfect. I've remained close to all of my former co-workers and I value human interaction even though its hip to be misanthropic.

I hate philosophy; Luhmann and Descartes can suck it.

I listen to NIN, Iggy Pop, Miles Davis, Pitbull Daycare, Bing Crosby, Puscifer, Lilly Allen, Marilyn Manson, and anything else that happens to catch my attention, and I seem to have a fetish for actors with gray hair (Richard Dean Anderson, Hugh Laurie, William Peterson). Mmm, old.

I got no future, great big past, little bitty guy on the rim of my glass, gotta see a doctor 'bout the words I've said, gotta get a bike, gotta paint it red. D:

The most perfect foods in the world are chocolate-chip-banana pancakes and mashed potatoes, but they should be eaten in moderation, and never together at the same time. Rum is also awesome.

And, I'm Jigsaw, bitch.

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